my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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