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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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