We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We had to coat check the pizza.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
