I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i think my mom watched the whole time
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
