I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
