I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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