if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
