I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
