I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
