why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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