I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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