I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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