everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
then he tried to convert me to islam
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
