do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
