Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
