Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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