Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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