We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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