i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
