Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
