The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
