you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize