We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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