oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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