last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
