is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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