we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
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by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
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He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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