last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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