Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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