i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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