he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
