if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
