dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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