Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
false alarm, still single
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