Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
