I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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