either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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