I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
