Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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