haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
