I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
