Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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