You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
