My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
