If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
