Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
