so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
