so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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