If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize