My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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