Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.