Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
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He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
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Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.