I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
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Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.