it wasn't lemon gatorade
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head