Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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