You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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