There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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