I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
