the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
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I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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