Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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