never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
God, I missed his penis.
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