already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
