I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
