Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
