Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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